Thursday, October 24, 2013

Getting slocer to new things

I feel like I'm getting a divorce from this blog.
I like my blog, but this is not where I want to be at this time.
I want pretty, I want more focused, I want more me.
I'm teaming up with a sweet lady, who will help me design a new blog.
My hope is to link everything into one: I want to become a brand.
Now, I don't know what all of that means, I just know that I have found my focus, ART, and I want to concentrate on that.  Of course I don't take myself or anything I do too seriously, so I am hoping that my light heartedness shows through it all.
I am nervous.
I feel like I am letting out a big secret.
I also need to let go of perfection, as that is just not something I'm capable off, and truly, it is not light hearted at all.
So I could go on rambling on and on, but I actually have some "homework" to do, so I am getting to it.
Stay tuned to find out when new things are happening.

Sunday, October 13, 2013


"You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs."

I have been in a strange place lately.
Lots of anxiety, deep breathing, gratitude, nervousness, unsettled.
My heart is filled with gratitude lately, which I absolutely LOVE.
In the last week or so, there hasn't been a day where I can't find at least one thing to be grateful for.
This is exciting, and scary all at the same time.
When the excitement wears off, that's when lots of deep breathing comes in.

I just turned down my husband in going over to a friend's house.
He took O, and I know they'll have a great time.
I know my husband wanted all of us to go, but the little guy is napping, and my heart is asking for a one-on-one conversation with me.
I have to listen to it, because I often don't, and the message I hear today is
"It's OK to invest in yourself.
"It's OK to let the fear go.
It's OK to put in effort,
It's OK to succeed,
It's OK to be afraid AND still do it."

Kind words from myself TO myself are a rarity.
It only happens once a year, or every five years, or every couple of seasons.
I am feeling a shift, and a change.
On Wednesday I wanted to "strangle" one of my co-workers, today I listened and comforted as he vented to me. 
Today I felt like my heart was open, and today I felt that I needed to listen, and to be there, and to see THE OTHER SIDE of the person, their story, their angst.
Now, it's not unusual for me to do this...with friends...but someone I feel indifferent about?
That is unusual, it is hard, yet not hard at all at the same time.

My little heart is telling me things, and I am listening.
I work best when left alone I think, I work best when no one is watching, but I wanted to come out and share this today. 

Friday, October 11, 2013

Balloon house

No one has turned two yet.
We had family photos taken yesterday, and I made sure to get a photo taken to use in our invitations.
The balloons of course came home to us, and after O's request to untie the balloons, and let them loose, so she can have a "balloon house," they're been floating around. 

It sort of coincides with the fear I'm breaking down today:
The fear: my dream is just out there (as in, GIRL, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?)
Legitimate or not: well...maybe - maybe not?! Is that an answer?  I'd say it's not, because as much as I doubt myself, I know that at least my dreams COULD HAPPEN...I'm not trying to be the next Alicia Keys
Solution: I say DREAM, DREAM BIG!  I have a quote on my fridge, it reads
"Be faithful in small things, because it is in them that your strength lies." - Mother Teresa
Although dreaming big is important, it is the small steps we take that success occurs.
I read this quote every morning before work, and as silly as it sounds, when I remember this quote, I focus in, and even the mundane of tasks take on a bigger meaning, and the end result is better than it would have been if I just went through the motions.