Listen

"You have to be brave with your life, so that others can be brave with theirs."

I have been in a strange place lately.
Lots of anxiety, deep breathing, gratitude, nervousness, unsettled.
My heart is filled with gratitude lately, which I absolutely LOVE.
In the last week or so, there hasn't been a day where I can't find at least one thing to be grateful for.
This is exciting, and scary all at the same time.
When the excitement wears off, that's when lots of deep breathing comes in.

I just turned down my husband in going over to a friend's house.
He took O, and I know they'll have a great time.
I know my husband wanted all of us to go, but the little guy is napping, and my heart is asking for a one-on-one conversation with me.
I have to listen to it, because I often don't, and the message I hear today is
"It's OK to invest in yourself.
"It's OK to let the fear go.
It's OK to put in effort,
It's OK to succeed,
It's OK to be afraid AND still do it."

Kind words from myself TO myself are a rarity.
It only happens once a year, or every five years, or every couple of seasons.
I am feeling a shift, and a change.
On Wednesday I wanted to "strangle" one of my co-workers, today I listened and comforted as he vented to me. 
Today I felt like my heart was open, and today I felt that I needed to listen, and to be there, and to see THE OTHER SIDE of the person, their story, their angst.
Now, it's not unusual for me to do this...with friends...but someone I feel indifferent about?
That is unusual, it is hard, yet not hard at all at the same time.

My little heart is telling me things, and I am listening.
I work best when left alone I think, I work best when no one is watching, but I wanted to come out and share this today.